Insights Insights on the Inset

It takes real courage and great patience to be a teacher. As teachers, we do not only focus on teaching our students whatever subject we majored in college. Our goal is not only to make them book smart, we also aim to shape them to become a better person. We don’t just treat them as our students, we also treat them as if they are our own kids. We know how effective it is in their learning process if we are able to get their trust and affection. That’s why we try to like kpop because they do, we learn the language that they use, and sometimes we even try to understand what their dramas are all about. All these things we want to do because we want to get to know them, as an individual.

Every day, we should wake up looking forward to see them, to take them into a new world in which they could explore and learn new things. To make them love learning. To guide them to read because reading is important. Because it will take them to beautiful places. Because it will teach them lessons that they could apply in the real world. Every day, we should prepare lessons that will allow them to use their imagination and critical thinking skills, at the same time let them have fun during the activities. A whole day will get by, then at night before we sleep, we find ourselves planning for tomorrow’s discussion.

As teachers, we don’t have much time for ourselves. We are always busy planning interesting and meaningful lessons for our kids. We look for new strategies that will make them interested, and that includes reliable and interactive websites. We are always busy with choosing what kind of stage we are going to prepare for them on a certain day. Sometimes we get even busier because we train them for contests, looking for the most effective strategy and the best practices.  Let us admit that during those trainings, we feel the tension and the stress, but we don’t show it to them. Instead, we build a relaxing atmosphere and we don’t pressure them into winning. We just tell them that whatever happens, they are still winners because they tried. Yes we are teachers, we serve as role models to our students, but then, we’re also not perfect. We spend hours on facebook, we play candy crush, we go out with friends or family, and at the end of the day, there are things we forget. And that’s why we need to learn how to manage our time, putting our priorities at the top of our task list.

Of course we could not do everything for our students. We should also seek the help of their family. Let us encourage the parents to be a part of their kids’ school life, those are: to participate in the school activities, inform them of their kids’ academic performance, consult them about the needs or problems of their kids, etc. Because we all know that having the parents/guardians involved in this matter would be a great factor in our students’ behavior towards studying.

Let me just end this by quoting John Steinbeck, an American writer, when he said “I have come to believe that a great teacher is a great artist. And teaching might even be the greatest of the arts since the medium is the human mind and the spirit.” 

Random shitty stuff I say on a random day

I was browsing through some other blogs earlier when I realized that I haven't blogged for a long time. My last was two months ago and that was me ranting over some guy who probably didn't rant over me. So as I was thinking, it dawned on me how much I've changed in two months. Literally. 

Last August I was so self-centered thinking only about how much others were charmed by me and that I would always have to look good to be pleasing to their eyes. I don't mean that I'm not dressing up to look good now, I still do, but I dress up now without aiming to please others. I see to it that I look good just because I want to. 

Last August I was always looking forward to my kids (my students) winning writing competitions but when most of them won in September, I just smiled and thank God for the blessings. I smiled and became grateful for like everyday of my waking moment. I walked the halls of the school, my feet still on the ground despite of knowing that my kids' stories of victory resound in every wall. I should've been bragging, but I wasn't. I could've, but I didn't. 

Last August I was keeping myself busy so that when my friends ask me out I could say no. I thought I could keep it that way. But I couldn't. Eventually, I started to contact my friends and made arrangements. I saw a lot of old friends in two months. Now, I'm continuing to see them every once in a while.

Last August my goal was to have and keep someone dear to me. That better half. Looking back at those moments makes me laugh because I realized that my world then revolves around that. I lie low. Now, I focus on my family, Gazette kids, my work, myself, and my interests. I love how I don't think about romance at the moment. It really is a big change.

 Soo there. I updated my blog with the new me. I know there aren't much people reading my blog but I still want to clear my past image because I'm really happy that I am who I am today. Will try to not be lazy and update my blog weekly. Teehee. :)

This is what Public School does to me

A few things I learned as a public school teacher:

- I could now tell which matters and which doesn't. 

- Also, I understand completely how it feels like to be climbing the stairs of success. (I didn't realize that with each step, I have to leave a person behind. and it's just sad.)

- I value my time.

- I learned to criticize people to be able to know whom I could really trust. 

- Most importantly, I learned to sugarcoat a lot of things. The sweetness I have is not just because I'm it alone. The sweetness could be deadly. 

- And people never tell me to take care of myself anymore. But they tell me that others should take care of themselves when I'm around.

This is what Public School does to me. It turns me to something better, but something I'm not.

A Bitch I once was

Sometimes, there are a lot of things that will come our way before we learn. We may or may not be a part of those occurrences. We may be in the light or in the dark. But what’s sure is that at the end of those circumstances, we get to realize a lot of things vital to the shaping of who we are as a person.

          I’d always thought I’m the good girl. The one who could understand everyone who needs understanding. The one who doesn’t care about taking sides. The one who’s always just and fair. But I’d never thought I’m no good. I’m just like the others. When I get mad, I curse, I bitch around, I hold grudges – and those, I realized, are what I’m good at. If I got mad, I mean really mad, at someone, I don’t talk with them, I don’t even look at them, I get by the whole day erasing them and their existence in my world.

          Looking at the big picture now, it dawned on me that I should never meddle with somebody’s problems. Better yet, not get mad at who they’re mad at. But then, if you’re my friend, then I’ll stand up for you. And that means I, will of course, take your side. Like always. In anything. But then, am I not taking your side because I hear a lot of stories from you that would make worst of the image of the one you’re mad at, then I figured that I’m turning against that person too even when s/he didn’t do anything bad to me. To fix my image, I could say that perhaps there are one or three mistakes that my friend’s foe did towards me, but is it reasonable for me to act like a bitch towards that person? Who, I may add, is technically my friend too. If I’m going to ask this myself then, I’d say yes, without second thoughts. But I’m asking myself this now, and I’d have to say no. Admittedly, I was a bitch.

          It was really sad that I get to realize these things just now. When it’s too late to fix things because they’re so damn broken. When that friend once was no longer a friend. I don’t know if it’s divine intervention, but one moment, I just found myself looking back to all the memories, and I realized how dumb I was to easily ruin the friendship I had because of such circumstances.

          I thought hard, and I guess God really helps us find a way to somehow retie some knots that were once broken if we really want to. And for a moment in my life, I said sorry. I wasn’t expecting for more. But I really didn’t think that these are people that despite so much pain they went through, they still know how to forgive and still want you back in their lives. These are people whom I’ve hurt a lot of times, and yet, still give me, sincerely, their love and forgiveness.

          Things and people happen due to reasons that we may never understand. But what’s sure is that we’ll never be forever blind. The right moment comes in which we get to realize that they have become instruments to make us better than who we were. 

Flipped

I just finished watching Flipped. You know that story with a boy (Bryce Loski) who was always annoyed by the girl who's clearly madly in love with him and had been stalking him since second grade, he tried everything to avoid her and then when he already did and she didn't like him anymore, he eventually came to realize that he really likes her.

I like the film. Not just because the boy who played Bryce Loski is way too cute, (which I've been ranting about with my cousin) but because I like the idea of it. Of having the courage to show someone how you really feel. Of not getting tired of loving someone even when you're not getting something in return. Of having your own spot (like on top of a tree) wherein you always find peace. Of knowing the best way to say you're sorry. Of knowing when to keep your distance. Of knowing when to stop even when it's too painful. Of having something to believe in. Of accepting things as they are. 

I began to wonder, perhaps I could be Juli, and you could be Bryce. I'm not into sycamore trees or anything but I knew that when I met you, I already flipped. Boy I did try to fight the feeling, but see I kept coming back to you. So I guess maybe someday you'll flip too? 

Seven years of friendship and I thought we'd still be counting

Tonight is another one of those nights that I wonder whatever did I do wrong. I don't want to believe them when they say that people come and go and we have to accept the fact that they won't be coming back. I mean I know the saying. I've witnessed a lot of scenarios like that. I just don't believe it because it happened to me before, with you. I could not forget when we cut the communication for a long time because of circumstances. But we surpassed that and we started talking again and I thought that you're the best thing that ever happened to me. We've been best friends for almost seven years now and we were always there for each other. You were always there for me. You always made me happy. And during those hard times I had in my life, you never left. You were there to tell me everything's gonna be fine. You'd really make me laugh and forget about my problems. You'd fix me and I'd be okay again. You were the person whom I turn to every time. I'd tell you stuff about my life and you'd tell me about yours, but you'd often ask how I am. I could tell you everything. It's like you're not just my best friend. What we had was definitely more than that. I loved you and I know you loved me too, not in the romantic sense, but we're us. We were different. A different kind of perfect. If there's one thing I was afraid of, it's losing you. And I told you that. I won't forget the moment you told me that we'd never be apart again, and that we'd always find our way to each other despite the busyness and the craziness. I held onto that. A lot of people promise me things and it was the only promise I kept on believing, because I have faith in you. But then I never thought it'd come to this. I never thought that you'd break your promise. January 1, 2013, you said no more disappearing. But hey, you just did. No goodbyes. And I'm trying so hard to figure it out. While I'm at it, I try my very best to get in touch with you as much as possible. But you act like you have amnesia and you didn't know me. You never respond. You should know that this freakin' fucking hurts! You know what the most painful part is? It's knowing and clearly seeing that whatever's happening to us, this distancing effect, is killing me but I never lost faith in you. I'm still fighting 'cause I still believe that it's worth it. That if you're not trying, then one of us still is. You know that I never gave up on you even when I knew that I looked stupid already. I still won't. Unless you tell me to do so. If you really want me out of your life, then I'll go. But to tell you, I strongly do not believe that I'm not worth an explanation. I told you that I could not imagine a life without you. But to make this friendship work, you'd have to feel that too. And if you don't feel the same, I guess it really is goodbye. No matter how painful and fucked up this is, I'll let you go. But I won't ever regret that you've been my best friend. It was really nice to meet you. What we had was great. Seven years and I thought we'd still be counting. Guess I was wrong. You slipped away, and took those years as if it would be easy to bury a 3/4 of a decade away.

PS. I think I have an idea on what's really happening. Well, I wish she's fucking happy now. 

The now is better

It had been a long time since we spent the day together. I almost forgot how it feels like to be with you. It was random. So flash forward, we went about the mall together, and I must say, I was really surprised that it wasn't anything that I expected it to be. Not in the negative sense, but we really hit it off. I was kind of thinking that perhaps there would be more awkwardness 'cause of the time frame that we last saw each other and talk in person, but I was completely wrong. 

The moment I first saw you today, it was like seeing my Mom and Dad after I got off my vacation. I felt excited and was looking forward to just talking with you. That moment I saw you, I need not force a smile 'cause it was there already. We started chatting about stuff and laughing and just teasing each other, and I was just so happy to finally get to see you again. 

You see, we're still us. But something changed. We're a lot comfortable with each other now than we used to. We said and did things that we never would've done in the past. I'm thinking perhaps this is the start of a new bond between us. Something that won't break. I had never foreseen this, but this is better than what I thought would happen.